Get the TSA to secure faculty meetings

Amy Bishop, the neurobiology professor who allegedly shot 3 people at a faculty meeting in Hunstville, Alabama, wrote a novel about a scientist who killed her brother and then made up for it by being really good at her work. And guess, what? Her brother then got shot, but it was ruled an accident. Also, her dissertation advisor got a couple of pipe bombs in the mail when it was touch-and-go on whether she'd graduate. That's a couple of coincidences too many -- the Boston police are not coming off too well on all of this.

But this got me to thinking ... how many faculty members are packing heat when they come to meetings? How many ABD (all-but-dissertation) students are Googling up instructions to build a pipe bomb?

Perhaps we can ask the TSA to build a no-educate list? They could also carry out full-body searches and ask faculty members to take their laptops out of their backpacks. Test for gunpowder residue on books. Raise the threat-level to orange any time a junior faculty member is denied tenure and raise the threat-level to red if the faculty then appeals the decision to the board of regents. We could even have disembodied voices on a loop warning of the threat-level and telling people to report any pencils dropped on the floor.

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